We are going to be disappointed or we will find situations where things are not going as planned. Amid all the disappointment, we should know its part of the journey. As long as you are on a remarkable journey that is taking you to the next level, disappointment is going to be part of it.
Consider How to Deal with Disappointment;
Take time to understand what really is going on. Look at it from a perspective of, it has happened and it is part of the journey, then, what do I do about it.
Don’t use a disappointment as an excuse which you talk about it for weeks or months. If it hasn’t killed you or anybody just know you are going to be stronger out of it, you’ll learn and know exactly what to do next time.
Don’t use disappointment as an excuse to stop. You have got to keep pushing. Because the disappointment could not have happened if you weren’t moving. Brush yourself off and keep moving.
If you focus on the disappointment, then you will see more of the disappointments. Change focus to what is working and keep moving.
Learning is the best thing you can do from a disappointment. Nothing teaches as well as the experience of disappointment.
You are in charge of your life and you decide how you are going to feel. A disappointment can make you feel down for a moment, but, take back your control and learn from it.
Watch the video above for the full lesson on how to deal with disappointments
#Momentum Series 9!
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The following is the full transcript of this ninth episode of the momentum series on How to deal with disappointments with Coach Phill. Please note that this episode, like all the other momentum series features Coach Phill speaking extemporaneously.
How to Deal with Disappointments.
We are going to find disappointment and we are going to find situations where things are not going as they should. We are going to find people who will not deliver as they promised to and we are going to be disappointed. It's part of the journey and life. As long as you are on a journey that is remarkable, is a hero's journey and it’s taking you to the next level, disappointment is going to be part of it. So, how about we discuss how to deal with the disappointment and how to make sure you go through it.
1. Have perspective of the situation.
Take time to say, what is really going on here. Put things in perspective and know it is a disappointment, it's not the end of the word. Find a way to look at it and say, it is a disappointment, it has happened and it is part of the journey. Nobody kicks a dead dog. You are disappointed because you were attempting to move and do things. Have perspective and say, it is not the end of the world.
Do look at it from a perspective of, it has happened, it is part of the journey, then, what do I do about it. Sometimes people take it out of context/perspective and say people of bad and all that stuff. Come on, cut that rubbish, it is a disappointment. Look at it as it is and say, what do I do next.
2. Understand that what doesn't kill you makes you a stronger person.
There's certain people who use disappointment as an excuse and will talk about it for a week or month. The truth is, if it hasn't killed you, it's going to make you a stronger person. If it's a disappointment and nobody died just know, you are going to be stronger out of this, learn and know exactly what to do next time.
I have had a lot of disappointments in my life. I had times where I could have given up, times where I felt like what's the deal. My first seminar had 3 people, yet I thought I was a hot shot.
3. It is important that you keep moving.
Don’t use disappointment as an excuse to stop. Every time you are disappointed, that is an opportunity to dig deeper than you have ever dug deep in your soul. You have got to keep pushing, why? This disappointment could not have happened if you weren’t moving. So, brush yourself off tomorrow is another day, you got to keep moving.
Remember, momentum is about keeping moving, making sure you are going after your goals consistently. Keep moving, keep doing what you got to do. Wake up tomorrow with more enthusiasm like nothing ever happened and just keep going. You got to be hungry. When you are hungry, you just keep moving. A hunting dog doesn’t have time to stop and scratch. It just has to keep going otherwise, the meal is going away. So, do what you have to do. Get up, keep going.
3. Allow your ability to know that it is what it is.
Be in the present. If it is what it is, what else do you want to do about it? Nothing. It is what it is. Be present, be congruent, know, okay, I have gotten it, I know what it is, I have written about it, and I have gotten the lesson. Am off, end of story. It is what it is don’t even bother to think about how this or that. It is a disappointment, don’t take it into the future, leave it where ever it is and keep moving.
Don’t use it as an ability to be able to paint the future with that disappointment, no. It is what it is. Forget about it, let go, that is what life is about. That is what we talk about in momentum. Let go and keep moving.
4. Change focus.
Sometimes we are so focused on the wrong thing. Guess what, we keep getting the wrong thing. What you focus on is where your energy goes. Where your energy goes you get more results. If you are focusing on the wrong thing, on the disappointment, you are going to see more of the disappointment, you are going to attract more of that crap, why? You are focusing on the wrong thing.
Change focus, get up the next day and say, today is a new day I am going to just get up and do something different, work on something else, just go and do something else, get away from whatever it was and say am changing focus, here. Am going to focus on this part of what is working and am going to keep moving, why? If you don’t keep moving then, you begin to feel the villain inside yourself of self-doubt, why? Because you are a little bit disappointed.
5. Get excited about the lesson
The people who have made things happen in this world, they have learnt from their lesson. Nothing teaches as well as the experience of disappointment, why? You will learn how much not to do it. The biggest challenge is, we get disappointed and we never learn from it. We get disappointed and we just do the same thing expecting a different result.
So get excited about the fact that you are going to learn. I have been disappointed several times and am like damn. The first 3 to 5 minutes I allow myself to go into it and beat myself up and after that, am like what's the lesson here. And the moment I get the lesson and learn it, end of story. I get excited about doing something different because, I know this will never happen again.
6. I want you to remember who is in charge emotionally.
Who is in charge of your life? Who decides how you are going to feel. This is about you taking back your power to say, am in charge of my life. This little thing can make me feel a little bit off for a little while but, I take back my control and say am in charge and am going to learn from this. This is called feedback. This means am moving and am getting somewhere.
People who are not moving don’t get disappointments, why? They are not moving so, there is nothing that is going to disappoint them. Remember who is in charge. And the moment you realize you are in charge, you’re the person who is making things happen, then you take control.